India, I miss You!!

It's been just around an year and a half, and I miss India far too much more than I had thought. I miss my home country in so many ways I can't explain. It's ingrained in me, and wherever in the world I might be, my heart would always lie there. All the peculiar day to day things make India, INDIA!! You cannot take India out of me. Its not the big things but the small things that make me miss it daily in some way...

It's like something happens and it starts all over again! The feeling that I get, can only be felt when you are away for this long or more.

First of all, I miss the 'Street Food'. I might try it as many times I want, but I never get that taste or flavor. The food I used to gorge upon, can't be seen anywhere here. There's all sorts of new food, of which I like just a few. I miss the Golgappe, Bhelpuri and Jalebi !! :(

Here they call it Henna tattoo, I'd prefer my good old 'Mehendi'. I miss the smell and color. When I was in India I'd get it on my hands all the time just because I love it. Now, I just crave for it.

I miss watching 'Hindi Movies' in theaters. They feature some Indian movies in other places, but not where I am. We watch Hollywood movies all the time, but its the Bollywood we long for! Brilliant or blatantly pathetic, I want to watch them in the movie hall.

And now what do I say about the 'Trains and Auto rickshaws'? The trains were the way to travel and autos can get you into any nook and cranny of the city! I just miss traveling that way.

The glamour of 'Weddings' in India is out of this world. And the Shaadi ka khana too. The color and fervor is all what I miss. People just go all out crazy during a wedding in the family!

The songs blaring on the 'Loudspeakers' during festivals, and people 'Honking' like crazy during a traffic jam, I miss all the noise, the hustle n bustle, the craziness!!

Everyone is 'Uncle n Aunty n Bhaiya n Didi' in India. Sometimes calling people by their name kind of feels awkward in here. And all those Uncles Auntys Bhaiyas and Didis like to see you 'Fat'. There are only two categories in their eyes, either you are 'Malnourished' or as they like to call it, 'Well fed'. Nobody is Fit! and that's the way it is..

There are 'Local Shops' at every 2 steps in India. You want to get something, anything and you got it! You are having trouble finding some place, ask for directions from people in these shops or from vendors, Chaiwalas or Paanwalas, and they just happen to know! Its so frustrating to go 2-3 miles just to buy groceries.

There are no 'Power Cuts' here,no 'Antakshari', no 'Cooking Gas Cylinders' and no hassles about it!!

In India there's just one 'Time Zone' and that's so convenient! You don't have to think twice before calling somebody thinking they might be asleep as they are ahead of you or they might be asleep because they are behind you in time! And, no adjusting time while you travel within the country.

Most of all, I miss 'Hindi'. Speaking in Hindi with everybody! And the slangs and abuses, sound so much better in Hindi! :D

I can say.... India, I miss you!!! :'(

I'd Love to Learn

I'm 26 and I'm not hiding my age...!! Moreover, I find the notion of not revealing your age stupid. Or, maybe, I'm not in that age yet where you find a need to hide your age.
So, all this being said, I was thinking on my birthday and ever since, there are so many things in this world I have yet to experience or rather learn. There are so many things I have yet to discover and find out whether I am that stuff or not. It could be any essential things to learn to plain lame. 
Therefore, after a lot of mind wrenching search for an almost perfect list of options for me, I came up with a list of 25 things I'd love to do/learn/accomplish by the time I turn 30. 
And, before I jot down the list, please someone make me learn "How not to procrastinate?". I've been putting off writing this post. It was supposed to come out a month ago!! However, here it is. 

First, I'd share all the life essential things I should know and I should have learnt a long time ago in order to be self-dependent and to be able to save myself in certain situations. But, as you see, I survived till now, still I'd like to learn them. After all, self-reliance is the key to be productive.

1. Driving: Cars and Scooters. Both!! Okay, I know the basics of car driving. I also started learning it, but it ended as soon as it started. My Dad had time early in the morning to teach me how to drive,and the rest I don't really have to tell you. And, I love to ride a bicycle, but God knows what happens to me when I'm on a scooty. So, I have to learn it some time soon!

2. Swimming: 71% of the Earth's surface is covered with water. Learning to swim might be a good idea. It would be good to know swimming for health & fitness as well as I won't be the one drowning in some water body.

3. Self-Defense: Ok I won't be running with a bow-n-arrow..!! :D By this I mean I'd like to learn some marshal arts self defense techniques in case I am in a compromising situation. When I was a kid, maybe in 3rd Std., we were made to learn Taekwondo for around 2 months for the Annual School Sports Day. My Mom still has the certificate safely put somewhere. Those 2 months!!

Hey, there's a creative side to me as well.... Though you can do these things on your own, its good to learn the technicalities that go into it and certain nuances that come with deep knowledge and some basic rules that you won't know otherwise.So it follows....

4. Guitar/Any Musical Instrument: I would love to be known as a Rockstar, though that's not happening. I'd like to be able to play at least one musical instrument, preferably guitar, to put my words into music. One instrument, with all my heart.

5. Painting & related Fine Arts: My love of brushes, and putting them into some use, has never died down. I painted a couple of oil paintings and some drawing and sketching, but did not have any dedication in that field after they were done. I'd love to paint a marvelous piece of art and take all the credit for it!

6. Different Languages: I know English and Hindi, know quite a bit Urdu, and I recently started learning Spanish. Let's see how far I would go in learning and speaking it. Then there's a list of more languages I would learn. To be able to speak general languages would be good when I travel the world! And its nice to communicate.

7. Dancing: Ok, not the disc dance, some quality dancing with pleasant moves. I've always envied people who can dance so well that you just want to watch more of it. I'd love to take some couple dancing classes with my husband (even when I know we would be rejected in most of them due to the difference in our heights).

8. Calligraphy: Isn't it lovely when something is written beautifully? Not the feelings but when its good just by its look...! When something is written in a good hand-writing or font (for my more technical buddies), even the crappiest of things would look nice. I have a good hand-writing so I gather it would be easier for me to learn the art of calligraphy and write my words elegantly!!

And the adventure begins!!  There's a kind of daredevilry infused in me somehow. Just watching something exciting gives me a rush. So, some adventures i'd like to have:

9. Adventure Sports: The list is too long for all of them. I'd like to experience them in this lifetime. And, would take precautions and proper safety measures and keep my fingers crossed that I don't get into an accident.

10. Photography: A picture's worth a thousand words. I'm not going to start a Facebook page but would definitely click some great pictures. Who knows what's in store for me!

11. Horse Riding: When I was a kid I had a poster of galloping white horses in my room, and the fascination has continued ever since. Maybe I'll own a ranch someday. ;)

12. Flying a Plane: That  would be  a big one! Always dreamt of flying, but as that is not humanly possible, it would at least be great to be in control.

13. Bartending: A good drink helps you unwind. As you see, it is so important! The right amount and taste would work wonders. Mixing spirits and losing yourself..!! :D

Women are inherently thought of as good homemakers. I mess up everything. So, I want to prove to myself that I can do good. These would be some things which I think every woman should know.

14. Cooking & Cuisines: Though I'm just one year old in proper cooking, I've come up to a decent level in preparing a meal. I'd definitely love to experiment and learn different ways to garb the mundane food items. And, I'd like to find certain recipes which my picky eater of a husband would gobble up. Although its far-fetched, I'd love to serve a seven-course dinner and exclaim Bon Appetit!!

15. Cake Baking: With cooking comes dessert, and with dessert there's Cake! I love love love eating cakes and pastries. They are always so tasty. I've already mentioned Cooking, but, this takes another spot as its not just baking, I'd like to learn the whole process that goes into making a cake look good after it's been baked. All the yummy icing and fondue and designs are just mesmerizing to me. This is somewhere on the top of my list.

16. Interior Design & Decor: This came to my mind as a good thing to know when I was given a small task of picking colors and matching decorative furniture and pieces at my in-laws. I was clueless at this and even after a lot of research and hopping on palettes and colors, I was still not sure of the choices I had made. A lot of style and knowledge of texture, finish and current trends makes the rooms look amazing. I learnt a few good things and a lot of dos and don'ts while on that project. Therefore, I'm looking further to cultivate it.

17. Gardening: Much talk of indoors above, now we move outdoors. Gardening would be a fun thing to learn. I'd rather have a lawn with flower beds than a backyard veggie and fruit orchard. (That would be quite too much for me I guess, or maybe I'll do these for starters and learn further gradually). All in all, a nice way to pass your time if you are not allergic to mud. (I may be)

18. Sewing, Knitting & Embroidery: Sewing and embroidery, I know the basics, maybe a tad bit more. Knitting, I don't even know how to correctly hold the needles and pull yarn on it. And, who does that anymore? Well, that's exactly the reason I'd like to learn doing all this. I'll preserve this art form! ;)

Now there are somethings I'd like to do solely for myself. Somethings that would not take too much of my daily time and would make me feel good about myself. I want to make my way of life, I want to change my way of life!

19. Gymming, Yoga & Being Fit n Healthy: I need to get up early in the morning! The thing is, when you can eat anything and everything you want and don't put on any weight, you just don't care about it. And, that's the problem with me. And, I know it would come to bite me in the bum some time when I'm older. Therefore, I'm trying hard with the first step, everything will follow on its own!

20. Make-up & Hairstyling: Watch as many tutorials you wish, you'll only learn by practice! Everybody wants to look good all the time. I wish no bad hair days for everybody. :) (I had like a whole year of that at one point) And, I wish to look fabulous in every aspect. I'll learn it eventually!

21. Reading More: This is self explanatory! I'd want to read more to be able to appreciate the beauty hidden in the books and to be able to write and express myself more effectively. This is one of the best things I had learnt at a very young age and I still abide by it. I'd love to devour what all the amazing books have to offer me!

Here now I share my dreams, something like my bucket list....

22. Writing a Book: I don't know what I'll write about, but I surely know I'm going to write something awesome! Something that is worth reading, if not many times, at least once. Something, that people might relate to, that touches the heart. Something, that's captivating as well as endearing!

23. My Own Radio Station: Music flows in my blood! I'll have a radio music station that would play the greatest numbers of all time. It would be great! And I would be the RJ...

24. Theater Acting: It would be so cool to act on a stage. I'd love to do that. It's just marvelous to see all the emotions and action that happens on a stage. Just mesmerizing. I'd like to learn how to control my laughter and emote accordingly. Another way of telling the story!

25. Traveling the World: This holds the biggest charm for me! Seeing new places, doing new things, eating something different. I want a sense of Wonderment!!

So this completes my list for now. Hope you liked it and got some ideas from it as well.

I'm still in search of the 26th and would like some suggestions!! Please comment....
Till then enjoy this song...ROAR!!!!!!!!

Of Phobias and Manias

So, the creative juices start hitting my head only when I am trying to sleep. Isn't it weird that you are trying to sleep and then something crosses your mind and there you go..!! One thing connects to another and another into a completely different one. And there you are, aboard on your train of thought which obviously does not have an end or limit to it. Aaaand, mind you, try to revert back from one point and you'd end up laughing at how absurd you can think and even how you link and think of one thing from the other. Just stupid!!

So.... I saw a bug zooming in my bedroom and I started thinking that Ok, I'm not afraid of bugs and insects till the point they don't bite me and they don't disgust me and I'm alright with it in my room. So then, what am I really afraid of? What do I fear? What is it I can't manage even to look at??? And I'm not talking about Fears of Life but simple day to day things that I fear and I might even be phobic of. Alright, now what do I do when I am nervous and in case I am in my phobia-panic situation, I'll try to run to my favorite habit and try to get myself as much involved in it in order to forget the horror. This habit turns on to become a free-time activity, and here I am bordering on being a Maniac.

So here goes the story on my fears and my stupid habits. Maybe, you also have some or can relate to this, I don't know. In my view, there's nobody who is not fearful of something or the other. Accept it! We all have our fears and different methods of dealing with them. And we all have some of those bad habits.

I can't bear being in enclosed spaces. They are too smushed up together with no fresh air getting in there. Take the example of a lift or elevator. When it goes up or down my ears are blocked due to the equilibrium balance or whatever it is but that is so annoying. With its lack of air and the overpowering, obnoxious fowl odors...Just great!!. Same with public toilets, you can't just move without hitting something or knocking something and every time i come out of it either my knee or toe or shoulder or elbow would be hurting. But this is something I can avoid. And believe me, when I traveled in trains, my pee got stuck somewhere in my stomach making me not having to use the toilets.

I fear getting water in my ears while taking a bath and even otherwise. When in a shower I'll try to keep my head away from water as much as possible. This is the reason I hate getting a hair-wash done before a haircut at a salon. I wash my hair before going there, and I'm making there job easier. Now, they just have to cut and style my hair. No washing, No water!!

I'm stressed out when I have to cross a road. I feel dyslexic when I have to. I'll watch and see sideways and check both ways even on one way. Still I can't get over it and muster up enough courage to just cross the damn road. I always need someone to help me. And when I'm alone there have been encounters where a car just missed me. I am a walking hazard on the road. I potentially put mine as well as other lives in danger because of my stupidity. And I don't know how to cope with it. I know I need fixing!!

I hate being sick. And, I have some food fears. Yes, I hate being sick due to eating some wrong food. I recently discovered that I am Lactose Intolerant. Therefore, please try and avoid offering me anything with whole milk in it. It upsets my stomach and digestive abilities and feels like a roller-coaster is rumbling through my intestines. Caution! ... And I can't take any seafood or fish down my throat if it has that smell, yeah! that fishy smell. I'll throw up but it can't go in.

Now the ultimate one! I have a huge fear of Lizards. In my teenage years many lizards got unknowingly killed by me (It's not my fault if they try to squeeze out of the doors at that very moment when I'm trying to close it.) And now I think all these years, they've conspired against me and they are after my life. How many of you have had that blessed moment when you find that there are 2 fat black lizards in your room?? And then these two turn out to be arch enemies! And there is a marathon in the room....Yayyy!! And what I can do is nothing but just run away..(This was the sole reason I could not watch parts of the movie Ek thi Daayan).... I accept, whenever I saw a lizard on the ceiling around the fan I'd get horrid mental images of it falling and hitting the blades and parts of it wriggling all over the room....Ewww!!  And and what can I say about them doing their "stuff" on the windows... then to make my already terrified soul more miserable.. And more disgusting is their laying eggs in the pen stand or jewelry box, as if just one or two were just not enough..... And to make things worse, this phobia has a name! "Scoliodentosaurophobia" .... Were you able to read that word in one go?? Me neither!! These lizards are definitely going to kill me one day. 

And i think I have not encountered some situations to know if I am fearful of them or not.

I have a habit of picking at my skin a lot. Any pimple, acne, blackhead, bump, blemish ends up making me look bruised. And you know why, because i can't control touching it...then scratching it and rubbing it and doing all sorts of operations on it with my nails.Any hangnails or cuticles around fingernails, I'd love to pull them out even if some blood oozes out. Why do I do this, 'cause I do. And i keep chewing at my lips all the time. I know it looks really bad and disgusting when I make weird faces but I can't help it, I just can't. There's actually a term for it under the list of OCDs(Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) and that its Dermatillomania. It has not reached to that level yet and I am trying to exercise control. I got really afraid when I realised that I do this to my husband also and I have an uncontrollable urge to pinch  a pimple on anybody's face if I look at them for maybe a few minutes.I just can't stand this ugliness. I hurt myself a lot due to this habit and i wish from my heart that nobody else does something like this.

I get the unavoidable urge to correct every grammatical mistake (that I recognize and understand) in a piece of text I read anywhere. Sometimes its too frustrating to read ambiguous. While on Facebook I get that feeling to scratch the screen of my computer and write the correct sentence where somebody has written it wrong. And same goes true if someone pronounces something wrong. I'll interrupt to correct that person in between of what they are speaking. My apologies if I did this to anyone, because I know it's so rude. I know that I myself don't know the super correct grammar and I'm not a master at pronunciations and you might find some mistakes in this post too. Yet, I do this and I can't help it.

Please do comment if you like this post and tell me about some of your fears also if you wish to. Share if you don't mind. I'd like to hear from you! Now I leave you to your train of thought!!

Bitter...Better....

What doesn't kill us makes us bitter. I used to believe that to be both funny and true. Years later I learned that pain could also be the touchstone for personal growth, which of course points back to the original saying, "what doesn't kill us makes us better." Not funny, but perhaps closer to the truth. Or at least the truth I choose to believe in these days. So, having recently experienced a bit of pain, am I better? Well, let's review: I think I'm fairly immune to name-calling now. I'm not sure I could have made that claim a few months ago. I've also come to see that the things I used to think were big deals, are not. Problems appear to be relative. If you have a big one, it makes all the others seem almost charming in comparison. And finally, when your life takes a path you could never have foreseen, it's humbling. In a good way. It's kind of like a friendly reminder from the universe that while you may think you have the starring role in the movie of your life, you're actually just a bit player trying to grab a quesadilla off the craft services table when no one's looking.

So, to sum up: I now have a thicker skin, I'm less likely to sweat the small stuff, and, perhaps most importantly, I have a renewed sense of humility. All in all, better. That being said, I still try to stay reasonably bitter in order to maintain my eligibility in writing.

Me to You...

Wanna run to you in the midst of all this chaos
In your arms I feel secure.
Your arms are the barrier that guard me
from this big bad world.
You are the shining light,my Anchor
You are the love for which I care.
The thing for which I crave
To whom everything I gave.
Tender,gentle,sweet,sensuous
Your touch makes me melt
and then get to a searing temperature
and soar above the rest.
You are the strength that makes me
battle all that is not good,
all that is decaying
and all that's lost.